Saturday, 20 May 2017
Friday, 19 May 2017
What are the objectives of couples / marriage counselling?
As the focus of couples counselling is the relationship, it is usually conducted with both partners. However, in some cases it is necessary for each partner to have individual sessions, as well as with group sessions. Couples / Marriage counselling is usually short term, however, the specific treatment plan will vary from one couple to the next. What are the objectives of couples / marriage counselling?
Couples / Marriage Counselling Can Help a Relationship in Turmoil
Couples / marriage counselling is a form of psychotherapy in which couples focus on their relationship. During couples counselling partners will rebuild or strengthen their relationship and resolve any conflicts. Through counselling, couples will be able to make rational decisions with regards to rebuilding their relationship, or realizing that there is nothing more that they can do to fix their relationship and that it is time for them to go their own ways.
As the focus of couples counselling is the relationship, it is usually conducted with both partners. However, in some cases it is necessary for each partner to have individual sessions, as well as with group sessions. Couples / Marriage counselling is usually short term, however, the specific treatment plan will vary from one couple to the next.
Some couples attend couples counselling to simply strengthen their union and better their communication, while others attend to try to selvage a relationship in turmoil. Some of the issues that couples may seek help with at therapy are financial troubles, sexual difficulties, communication issues, differences about child rearing, and infidelity.
What are the objectives of couples / marriage counselling?
While there are a number of benefits to couples counselling, the following is a brief discussion of some of the main objectives of couples counselling.
Improve communication. Therapy will help couples learn how to effectively communicate with each other in a supportive manner, by teaching partners what kind of communication is constructive and what kind will cause an argument.
Reduce emotional avoidance. Couples who do not express their private feelings with each other often grow apart due to emotional distance. Therapy will help couples to express themselves to each other effectively, so that they can rebuild their emotional bond.
Learn to promote the strengths of the relationship. Because much of couples therapy focuses on the negative aspects of a relationship in turmoil, there is a specific focus on promoting the strengths of the relationship to help the couple to develop enjoyment from the relationship.
Modify dysfunctional behavior. It is the therapist’s role to make sure that neither partner in the relationship is experiencing physical, emotional or mental harm from the other. If this is the case they may recommend that partners take some time to be apart from each other. The purpose of this is to make sure that couples not only improve their interactions, but also their behavior with each other.
Change the perceptions of the relationship. A Counselor will help couples to view the relationship in a more objective manner so that they can understand why the relationship can change depending on the context for example. By changing the way the couple understands their relationship, they will be able to look at themselves and their interactions in a more nuanced way.
The counselling space is one free of judgement where couples can explore their relationship openly and honestly, with the guidance of their therapist. However, it is important to remember that a therapist is there to enable change and resolution, especially for couples in turmoil, so that through open communication they can reach their own conclusion about their relationship with the support of a professional therapist.
Thursday, 11 May 2017
Marriage
Marriage & Relationship Counselling is a form of relationship therapy which is aimed specifically at people who are involved in romantic relationships. Both married and unmarried couples may seek couples therapy, and there are a number of approaches to couples therapy. Marriage Counselling
Advice in the form of relationship & marriage counselling.
Marriage relationship where one partner wants child and the other doesn’t
Marriage Counselling and the child free choice
The decision to remain childless is often a contentious one, even more so when in a relationship where one partner wants to have children and the other doesn’t. Relationship or Marriage Counselling with the guidance of a therapist would help partners to see each other’s points of view and help them to come to a conclusion about the future of their marriage or relationship as well as about the decision to have children. Although this relationship hurdle seems unsolvable, there are a few tips for coping in this situation. However, if you find that this is an on-going issue in your relationship, it is important to seek professional advice in the form of relationship & marriage counselling.
Things to consider when one partner wants children and the other doesn’t
As with any major relationship hurdle, it very important to communicate effectively with your partner when one of you wants children and the other doesn’t. Make sure that your partner knows exactly how you feel about children and why you have made the decision that you have, and likewise that your partner does the same. Once you have both expressed your views and have been open and honest with each other you can start to move forward toward a resolution.
When discussing the child free choice, think long term. If you agree not to have children how will you feel when your friends are all raising their families? Similarly, if you decide to have children, will this make you happy and will it be the best choice for the well-being of your relationship? However, make sure that whatever choice you make, it is the best choice for you. Making the choice to either have, or not to have, a child based on what your partner wants is likely to further strain your relationship or marriage.
If you are unable to reach a resolution, it may be time to make a difficult decision. Together you will need to decide if your feelings about having a baby or your relationship are more important to you long term. This is a difficult choice to be made with many factors to consider. Relationship counselling would help you to see more clearly with regards to your relationship and feelings about having a child, so that you can make this difficult choice.
It is also important to discuss whether you or your partner doesn’t ever want to have children, or if this is just a short-term decision. If the partner who doesn’t want to have children says that it is just a decision for the moment, the other partner can work with children through babysitting or volunteering at a children’s hospital or care facility for example. Whenever possible, look to see if there is a compromise like this that can be made when discussing important relationship hurdles with your partner. Relationship counselling can help couples move toward compromise for the well being of their relationship.
How can relationship counselling help?
Relationship or Marriage Counselling is a form of therapy that seeks to resolve issues and improve communication within an intimate relationship. Relationship counselling can help you to reflect on your past as individuals and as a couple and how this impacts your present feelings about children; communicate constructively about your choice to have a child or not; understand how culture, religion and family values may have impacted your feelings about children; and finally, relationship counselling can help you to negotiate and resolve the conflict.
Contact Louw Alberts for Expert Marriage Counselling
Thursday, 4 May 2017
There are two marriage stages that exist for couples. Marriage stage 1 and 2
There are two marriage stages that exist for couples. Marriage stage 1 and 2
Below, we investigate the qualities of each.
Stage 1 of Marriage Counselling
The main function in this marriage stage is to form attachment with our partner. In order to do this, we subconsciously do two things: we overemphasise our commonalities, and we minimise our differences.
Similarities can emerge from our physical, emotional, psychological, environmental and spiritual features. When we overemphasise our commonalities, we make our similarities greater than they are in actuality. This is not intentional, and is not ‘lying’. On the contrary, it is pivotal during the attachment development phase.
Below, in bold, are examples of commonality overemphasis:
-‘We have exactly the same hobbies.’
-‘Our opinions are all so similar.’
Likewise, in this marriage phase, we minimise our differences. The intimacy between our partners and us enchants us, and we immerse ourselves in our shared experiences. Here, we focus on what we share; in this way, we disregard our individuality.
Below are examples of difference minimising:
-‘He/she does not clean up after him/herself – this does not bother me.’
-He/she only makes unhealthy food. – It’s okay; I will compensate by preparing very nutritious food when it is my turn to cook.’
Within the first marriage stage, there are three main qualities:
-There is heightened passion, absorbing emotions and intense sexual urges.
– We reciprocate equally. That is, we give the same amount as we take. We feel satisfied with the nurture, attention and love that we receive. At this point, this support and nurturance is the root of our mutual attraction; we receive it on various levels.
– We do not ask our partner to change. Instead, we accept them as they are, and we compromise in order to please both of us. Without any effort, we ask the four integral questions: What do you want, feel, need and think? This marriage stage is a sort of honeymoon-type phase.
Through all of this, we create a concrete foundation. This enables the second marriage stage. Marriage counselling is an excellent way in which to gain insight into which marriage stage we are in.
Stage 2
In this marriage stage, differences become apparent. We see our partner more objectively than we did before – this is normal. It does not automatically mean that the relationship cannot work. Counselling allows us to ease into this stage.
At this point, we may require more space from each other. Similarities seem to decrease and differences seem to increase. This is natural, and it is now when we re-examine and reconstruct our boundaries. This boundary reconstruction is essential for the relationship.
In some cases, when the differences are too big or overwhelming, the relationship cannot survive. In other cases, the differences become irreconcilable – but slowly. Here, communication is very important, but it is also difficult. We must understand what we want and what we need, before we can articulate it to our partner. This is why marriage counselling is so pivotal during this marriage stage. It allows us to come to terms with our emotions during the transition from stage one to stage two.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)